Footsteps

desert

Alone in this desert life
I walk a slow grudging pace
I’ve left myself behind

I know the burn of the sun
Bakes my skin dry
But the feeling is lost to me

How long can I hold this secret
I fear it’s starting to show
The fact that I’ve killed myself

I still play the masquerade
I wrap myself within a mask
Pretending I feel sensation

Acting as if emotion
Is still a friend of mine

How long will it be, I wonder
How long will I walk alone
Along this numbing path

My only companion, apathy

How long will I suffer the sand
With internal eyes closed
How long will my feet crack

Will I find me along this road?

Leaving behind blooded prints
As I walk along, hoping someday
Maybe I’ll find myself, maybe

And resurrect that thing called feeling

Looking down I see a space
Where my heart used to be
I can’t remember how long its been

Since I cared about my vacancy.

There is some hope, in my bloody trail
I leave it for you to find
If I cannot save myself

I’m hoping you will follow

Backtrack along my path
And I’m hoping you will find
The walls I’ve built around my death

Please bring me back to life

 – Awkward Babble October 2007

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2 thoughts on “Footsteps

  1. Not sure what to say here except that this:
    “How long can I hold this secret
    I fear it’s starting to show
    The fact that I’ve killed myself”
    Rings a painful truth in me.

    Liked by 1 person

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